When I think of You...

OK Bloggers =) SO the summer feels like its definitely coming to an end and it seems like it just got here!!! WTF..ughh well my summer really isnt going to end because im moving back to AZ yay lol i just wanna save up some DINERO so when i go out there ill be GOOD so probably a little after my bday i should be out there ..But anyway life is MOVING because time stops and waits for NO ONE=).And im learning that everyday when im looking at the clock and im like 'ALREADY' lol.Last sunday i got KOurtney and bryan and sha to come to church with me yay! lol i told hihs mommy that id take kourtney to church with me...and this sunday we are suppose to be going to jersey shore but idk cause of church or who knows i may not go IDK.But right now i am uploading pictures from my camera and there are a bunch of old pictures that have to be uploaded because i had lost my USB cord and i just found it yay ME !!!OK sooo yes i went to SUMMER STAGE last sunday and freaking JOE, Ginuine and Chico Debarge was there.and let me tell you GINUINE WOOOH hes an amazing performer lol and of course he had all the ladies with 'PONY' and JOE performed' all the things your man wont do' WOOOH I LOVEDDD IT.. but it was definitely HAWTTTT... But yeah ive been trying to avoid the SUN this summer lol i didnt wanna get 'BLACK AS HELL' lol but i think i caught a tan but watever im cool with it.its nothat serious. Last night i was on the phone with my SPIFFSTER lol till like 6 something AM.. and i didnt have work today so i slept until 2ish and my cuzzo wants to go to webstar hall tonight and im debating. IDK because shes leaving on SATURDAY back to DE so i def do want to see her...idk wat to do man lol Im def gonna miss her but i mean thats always gonna be my CUZZO like shes my ACE BOON KOON we have been through a bunch of things in such a short period of time and i have her back no matter what and she has mine =) I<3 color="#ffccff">BLACK who knows..i just want to keep EVOLVING as a young woman and take everyday as a lesson and crazy experiences i have no regrets but then i wish i could have done certain things slightly different..But i am who i am for a reason so i never really QUESTION anything because everything happens for a rason =) lol.For now im chilling and im so grateful for everthing.Im not putting a time on anything anymore, i want to be in a relationship but i know that im really not ready for one and especially since im about to make this move back across the country i know its not going to be with anyone over here. And Mona and i are still good friends and theres never been any bad feelings for eachother i mean i have her tatted on me and i never have any regrets about that and i still have crazy love her like she taught me so much on love and how to really be there for someone and i showed her many things as well.I honestly think shes one of the best things or person im going to meet in my LIFE.She has had such a MAJOR effect on my life undeniably. Uhm im just gonna touch on Johnathan lightly because that chapter is done. We have been arguing lately and a couple of days ago it went to a level that i should have never taken it to because of course its out of my character but sometimes when it came to him it was hard for me to ignore the little dumb and hurtful demeaning things he would do and say and i stooped to a level that i should have not. I said a lot of disguisting things, and i told him that i never loved him and i dont love him. I cant say that i never loved him because if i didnt i would not have not dealt with him for these past 6 years whether as a friend or girlfriend. and he said basically that i meant nothing to him in return and honestly he was probably being honest when he said that because i believe that he never loved me i was just there ya know. and i have accepted that im not hurting anymore im moving on with my life and leaving him where he is theres no need to keep in contact with him or anything because we dont get a long together and he will NEVER change. well hes not the man for me basically. He apologized to me when he was locked up , he apologized and he also wrote me a little long winded note on facebook. and i dont know if he apologized because he was incarcerated or if he really meant it , but it doesnt matter cause im not going to put much time into wondering about his feelings anymore ive been doing it for too LONG. But yeah theres someone out there for me and that PERSON will come when its that persons time.. for now everyone else is just PREPERATION for the real deal lol. And the whole thing with mona i cant tell the future or what it holds but im not saying there wont be another time for us in the future because the connection we had was so unexplainable like there is no comparison. Like that was a FAIRYTALE till the end and the ending has yet to be told. Regardless ill have endless love for her. Our book is still open ended. Whatever happens from this point on just happens im not expecting anything =) but i know im going to be super SUCCESSFUL lol. I went to go have my palms read! and she said im gonna have 3 kids and married between 24-27 and no DIVORCE yay lol and im goin to be real successful and a bunch of other things that im not going to get into.. Oh and she told me who im definitely not going to MARRY.

uhm.

So tonight was definitely crazy with my girls! lol Me Amjay Sha and Jasmine went to this NEoSoul jazz concert in newark and it was amazing i enjoyed myself but the real fun came after when we drove to the gas station and on the way everytime that there was a red light all of us would run out the car and switch seats and it was soo much fun! the cars around us were staring and looking like wth and they were laughing with us lol. Itwas so much fun but we got to the gast station ad got a bunch of snacks and coffee and the guy 'yaya' gave us some free stuff he was super NICE lol. THen we were sitting on the hood of the car posing and blasting the music and had twizzlers in our mouths just acting crazii lol then we decided to put scarves around our faces and act like we were robbingthe store so we went in and we were like put ur hands up! give us all u got and the customers were laughing and the guy was like what do u guys want it was SOOO FUN and mind you we are in heels and mini dresses and hair is all done and our make up is def on POINT! lol we were there for about a good 30 minutes..Then we started dancing on some guys car while he was in it and we gave him a cherry twizzler YAY.. then we went to 7 11 by shas job and we started singing Bad Boys, the cop song but we changed the words to bad girl bad girl what ya gonna do what ya gonna do when they come for you! and we were all Nsync and then we broke out in Michael Jackson thriller dance moves and it was soooo HOT .. then the A&P because we wanted to rent a movie and see it'The Uninvited' but they didnt have it so we walked around the supermarket NSYNC and when i rolled up on a black guy and jumped in his cart and said GIVE ME YOUR MONEY lmao and hes like ur funny im like this isnt a game SIR and i started taking his stuff out of the cart and throwin it on the floor and he was laughing and taping it on his BLACKBERRY lol then i started singing the osng' GIMME 20 Dollars' lol and then we walked to the FREEZER section and we acted like we were shivering cold lol IT ws the best night and then we went to the DINER to eat! yay then stopped at KOURTNEYS house and chilled for a little bit and of course we got the cypher going! oww i was freestlying 'KRS2' is back in the building lmao yeah and we were doing crazii dances and then jamming to Michael Jackson then we came home and its 5 48 am and we are still up tlaking about everything! literally like a lot of things are coming out lol I enjoyed my night~ oh and ive been talkin to my ' crush' all night basically yaY SMILING FROM EAR TO EAR definitely lol nah NO sweat right..lol i told her i was crushing on her,..yeah i know seems Juvenile lol but its NOT and today im having lunch with my MOMZ hmm idk where i wanna go i think OLIVE GARDEN YESSSS lol then rest of the day idk i think i wanna go see BRUNO at the movies and yeah SO thats the jist of it IM HAPPY CONTENT and SUPER LOVED...im thankful for the FRIENDS and FAMILY i have in my life im lucky and i definitely appreciate every person in my life =)KK im leaving on that note hmmmMuah

Hola Mami...

Hey you guys =), so a lot has happened lol uhm last week i fainted and hit the back of my head on the edge of the couch on the way down and it was absolutely crazy. and Shas mom had to call the ambulance and i was taken to the hospital! craziness i know right, but they never really found out what was wrong with me scary...yeah i know.Then my mom and my cousin we went to ihop to eat then movies and i spent the day with my mommy who i love dearly =) shes my everything. Then i went to take a nap and i had a voicemail..guess from who?!?!? well yeah i dont think i need to say a name at this point and time in my blogging life because you guys should already know lol. And i was told that he wanted to take me out to dinner and discuss some things and just hang out so i accepted why not ya kno? so we went out to eat and we chit chat a little bit but it was awkward he was so quiet and not much was being sad from his end. And i spoke to him yesterday and now i know why. I feel like a jack ass in some type of sense because i have been selfish these pass couple of months and im not looking at the big picture. Im not taking full blame but i mean i definitely have not put myself thoroughly in his shoes and i dont think that i could ever understand what he is going through. And i try everyday to empathize with him. And it just needs to come natural and not be fake about it. i cant act like i know everything and that theres nothing. Like this is just on a friendship level you know? I need to be more flexible and understanding and do more listening than talking before i get the full out story. But thats that. And i met this girl...through Adara and she is soooo pretty and her personality is like CRAZY lol. We talk on the phone like everyday for hours and its crazy shes a different breed like im attracted to her physically and stuff but shes only 17! yikes lol. I dont think it would go any further lol but if anything a great friendship, plus im not trying to get back on the relationship scene for a while. But i definitely do not mind getting to know people. Because that can always be potential lol but for now im focusing on other things...and i am enjoying my summer that has been good so far i cant wait for my birthday to come now ! im going to be 20! yayyyyyyyy lol but thats the basics of it. =)