Simplicity...

So a lot has happened.. Uhm i am feeling myself a little more and more everyday lol and its not a bad thing...im not cocky or anything like that but im just exuberanting with LIFE lol yeah i made that word up! This weekend i hung out with my girls and it was bueno as always!im gonna start running more so my body can be super fit for summer wear and virinia beach wear and myrtle beach with my girls and cuzzo and her man...Uhm im not single i go back out with Johnathan but it doesnt feel like im in a relationship... idk its weird i love him and when we first started going back out like a week ago i was willing to work out whatever we had to work out but he doesntfeel the same way.If he didnt have me in his life it would not make a difference at all. And i finally realized that today and it hurt but its life. But i learned that i have the best friends inthe world who love and need me...its just a good feeling sometimes when your boyfriend feels the same way about you the way you do him. I honestly believe that i love and 'need' him more than he needs and loves me. Uhm and i know it may seem like...ok why are you with him? BEcause i truly love him but this isnt how i want a relationship to be. I needattention from my partner ad i get absolutely none from him. and im gonna stop hitting him up because im pestering him and becoming a nuissance and I KIERA ABLES am not that girl. I have completely runout of ideas. I cnt keep someone interested if hes not willing to put in effort...BUt its cool because its always been like this i think its because i dated mona and i was her everything i got everything handed to me and i never had to ask her to call me or give me semi attention i feel like im in 3rd wrld country starving..But for his love and attention. As long as i know that i am and have given it my all and then some then i will have no regrets. I have none so far but i can only help but wonder why he wants to be with me...if he is going to still act as though he doesnt hve someone...Crazy i think he would put MORE effort into a new FEmale...But anyway i just cant wait for school to start and hurry up and get my degree an start my career... i wanna start looking into buying a CONDOMINIUM... but idk where i think imight move to Delaware or somethng or somewhere in NJ idk but im definitely going to start looking on the market NOW... I still have my goals i want to reach ! ugh the marriage by 25...EHHH its looking shakii but i mean aslong as im doing what i want and happy that will be good enough for me. I also spent the week wth my COUSIN and her MAN AND i had tons of FUN me and her are like freakin TWINS.. ILOVE THAT GIRL! but anyway thats pretty much it... this is a crazy Ride and im loving every minute of it I love my girls Adara Anik Brandy Sha And TIASIA and i love my boyfriend JOhnathan...I dont like him right now tho but as long as i love him and he loves me we still have a connection...I Know that this chance im gonna give it a lot more than 6 years ago because i am older and i have grown as a woman and i knw more and i have experienced many things in these past 6 years...But i dont think hes willing and ready for my Love.. and its crazii CUZ IM AMAZING =)